Guide My Affair

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A woman has a loving husband but is having an affair with a married man.
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He broke it off quickly as well. And you are correct I don't trust him or believe it when he says he loves me or that he wants to be married to me. I think he just can't give me up because of all the trappings that he would lose if he did like kiids, church, reputation, big house, holidays etc. Do I think he will cheat on me again? I have no idea what to do. I feel stuck. Not who I thought I married. Not what I thought marriage was. Totally blindsided.

Not sure I can ever trust him again Not sure if I even like him anymore! I'm dealing with this now I suspected infidility pretty quickly but it took 6 months for me to find out the truth. We were having mad problems yet he was saying how he wanted it work and was mostly happy. When I discovered the truth, I was relived but wasn't prepared for the pain and everything that was confessed. My husband is a teacher. Well respected He admitted that he had cheated in past relationships but never explained to what extent.

I still don't totally know but I believe his dad cheated on his mom they have been married over 40 years his brother has also cheated on his wife they are still married but live separately That is not the life I want. We have been together for 3 years. I am 6 years older than him. I cheated on my first husband and decided I never wanted to put someone else through that pain.

I walked away from my husband because I knew I wasnt happy and I didn't want to keep putting him through that. This time around I've decided to say nothing. Before finding out we had been going back and fourth about staying together. Now I realize he really doesnt want a divorce.

He just wants me to accept his behavior keeping secrets and not having a transparent marriage and allow him to get the emotional needs met from other women.

'My affair saved my marriage' Confessions of 'nice' women who cheat - YOU Magazine

However before I found out the truth I've repeatedly said I can tell you are not being honest about something. Unfortunately its going to take me to move out for him to either make amends and admit his behavior as well as get help or I will divorce him and he will continue in this pattern. So how does the betrayed get past this and how does the wayward spouse avoid this from happening again? So far it's only women who have commented on this type, so I just want to register as a guy who experienced this too. My wife threatened to leave me and take the children with her when she was in the throes of the affair but in the end decided to stay and end the affair.

For sure for awhile she wanted both and did all the usual stuff of blaming me for her behavior and wanting to have it both ways. We had a good marriage. The affair was her working out her own issues from childhood and exploring the roads not taken. It still hurts.

Karelasyon: Secret affair with your ex-wife (full episode)

My husband of 25 years, disclosed to me and my children on 21st Dec that he had been having an affair with a waitress he met 6 years previously, and had a child by her. I had absolutely no idea that he was having an affair, as the woman was in another country, and since he travelled abroad, all his foreign trips were tagged with meeting her before or after his work.

I took him back but 3 years later, I am still struggling. Despite going to counselling on and off, the trust is broken and I dont know what I want anymore. How does the betrayed spouse get past this? Will this happen again?

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Everyday I think about it we were high school sweethearts and I never was with anyone else! He had one after we lost our first child and lied saying it was a one night stand but now after all these years I find out he was with her many times but he had gotten an std from her and that was the only reason he had to tell me about it! I committed this type of affair. I convinced myself that I was entitled to both the affair and to my marriage. I never wanted to leave my wife, and I convinced myself that the holes in my marriage could be filled with another person. Only through falling to my knees and seeking help from my pastor, counselor, and an accountability partner have I been able to see how selfish, rotten and awful I was.

I have permanently damaged my wife and kids, and while I am grateful every day that my wife has forgiven me and allowed me to stay, I will never be able to repair the damage.

The path forward won’t be easy, but healing is possible.

I convinced myself years ago that "what they don't know won't hurt them" but I was so wrong. I am percent responsible for my choices, and wanting to have my cake and eat it too damaged everyone around me. My affair partner became manipulative in the end with threats to destroy my life and expose me, further driving home the point that she was never who I thought she was.

Nevertheless, there is no nuance to any of this. I was percent wrong and selfish with every call, every text, every interaction. I owed my wife what I had committed to on our wedding day. Thankfully, I have help and support so that I'm not "that guy" any more, but I will never be able to fix the damage that I alone have caused.

For this comment. It gives me a little bit of hope that somewhere out there, it is possible for a man to full remorseful about wanting their cake and eat it. I have found out that my husband specifically sought out his hidden email with his AP just 1 day before our wedding and archived it. Even though he swore blind for about 6mths that he ended it with her.

I Had An Affair With My Straight, Married Neighbor. Then His Wife Emailed Me.

Technically he brought the affair right into the first day of our marriage. Our 1 year wedding anniversary is coming up its our birthday too, life is funny like that.

My birthday will never be the same, and I'm still so young. It sometimes feel so painful to keep living on with this pain.. We had a Type 4 affair described here.

‘My affair saved my marriage’ Confessions of ‘nice’ women who cheat

We know each other's families, socialized occasionally, and neither of us had any intention of leaving our spouses. Selfish beyond words, I know.

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Then, last spring, my teenage daughter discovered the affair but decided that keeping it from her dad was the best thing to do. She was concerned for his health and I think in some ways did not want to be "responsible" for his pain. After seeing her suffering and enduring great disrespect from her for about 4 months, I confessed to my husband.

The affair had continued during this time but at a much different level. After 15 years together, I felt we had a lot to be thankful for and while I often privately yearned for something more, I accepted that this was the way my life was to be. It took just one life-changing encounter to make me realise how wrong I was. Once the penny dropped, the life I knew went out the window. And so I began an affair with a married man. Nothing too unusual in that perhaps.

Indeed there is a school of thought that upholds the notion that an affair can breathe life into a stale relationship. Not so for me. The playground gossips in small-town Ireland were about to go into overdrive. It was intrigue. We barely acknowledged each other during the five-minute encounter, but the memory lingered for a long time. Over time our children became close. Playdates, sleepovers and school events ensured we met from time to time, each chance meeting impacting me more than the last.

But life carried on. Over the years, his wife and I became good friends and eventually we began to socialise together as a foursome. His penetrating gaze made me uncomfortable and not sure what he was ever thinking, I assumed the worst. Our two families became more and more intertwined until one night, everything changed.

My husband was visiting friends overnight and the children were staying over with their grandmother for the evening, affording me a fortuitous night out. After dinner with a crowd of friends it dwindled to just us, his wife having left earlier to relieve their babysitter.

As I sat tongue-tied, making ridiculous small talk, I instinctively knew how I felt, and that he was feeling the same. Emboldened by too much wine he offered to escort me home and I did nothing to object. Although we avoided each other for weeks in the aftermath of our tryst, we both knew there was unfinished business between us. I could barely face myself in the mirror and seeing his wife and children made me feel physically ill with guilt.

But more than anything, I was consumed with the need to see him again, consequences be damned. We arranged to meet again and this time, there was no question as to what the outcome would be. It was the beginning of the end in some ways, or the beginning of the beginning in others. The affair was all the things you imagine an affair to be. Sometimes exciting, dangerous and exhilarating, sometimes just terrifying.

And while the physical side was mind-boggling, the relationship was also full of laughter, tenderness and intense conversation. We were unencumbered by the day-to-day monotony of married life and so our time together, though limited, was magical.